Mines
is the number one Sadistic School according to the Princeton Review. Of course, you can’t believe everything a
bunch of people who stand around at cocktail parties in the buff tell you. Cod.
Eeeewwwwww…. Might be the reason
for the prevalence of Golden High Grads at Mines weddings.
Mines
ranks #1 at Least happy students.
It
slips to #2 for worst dorm food and for quality of discussion in class.
It
polls a shoddy #7 on shittiest dorm rooms.
You can check out the details at:
What Colorado Mines Students Say
About...
Quintessential Mines students are "very focused on school and obsessed with their grades and academic achievement." Notes one engineer here, "There are lots of valedictorians from high school who have to get a 4.0 or go crazy. No one smiles when walking down the sidewalk." While most are "really willing to work together to learn," they are otherwise "mostly introverts: friendly, but not outgoing." "There are a lot of international students that fit in pretty well" but "not very many ladies." Reports one student, "There is also a strong religious presence at Mines, more than I had expected."
What Greg has to say about the
Colorado Mines Experience...
Uhhhhh! Wait, I think I remember….
It all started with “Hi, I’m Dale Barlow, Rush Chairman,
Want to go to Coors” and “Gee, this is
neat, does anyone here play wargames?” There was something about carrying a 20
lb rock up a mountain, drinking beer out of a hardhat, bulldozers, taking kegs
to games, dynamite (yep, real dynamite), going to Coors every day (except
Sunday), beer pong, sunshine, Castle Rock, Lookout Mountain, Central City (pre
gambling), the Sig Ep Groupies (they know who they are), Marv Ball, Fish
Cheers, squinting at the early morning sunshine, passing out and waking up
during D&D, beer pong, skiing, body surfing in Clear Creek, the Steam
Tunnels, WET RUSH, G&T’s, Wine Spritzers, White Zin, the 80’s, Volleyball,
Ultimate Frisbee, The girl with the “Women without men are like a fish without
a bicycle” tshirt., the argument for genetic engineering, FAC’s, the Press
Club, getting credit for bowling and golf, waking up “on”, the Dead at Red Rocks
and all the associated scars, the B-52’s, 13 high school girls, a bunch of
grapes and the Go-Go’s, The Ace, The Morrison Inn, Happy Hour at Jose O’Shea’s
and Sims Landing, Happy Hour in Downtown Denver, Thirsty’s, John’s story about
the girl who winked like a tiger, Spawn on the Lawn, Ramp on the Tramp, The
Loser’s Bracket, The Loser’s Party, Boat Races, Pledge Formal, The Briarwood,
Homecoming, E-Days, The Beer, Champagne and Killer Punch Party (more scars),
falling off a Bug (more scars), the Pinto, Meathead’s Maverick, Supershaft, all
the other killer floats, girls in diapers at Halloween parties, “I’m a Batchtable!”,
Fireworks, piss calls at the SAE’s, the Christmas party, the weddings, going to
Vegas after Joanne’s and Mark’s wedding, the trips to the Mine, beer pong,
fuchsia shirts and purple shorts, white button down’s, Loft Parties, the Death
of the Admiral, COD!, Admiral Codcatcher, Gigalombo, Ramp on the tramp, re-ad
board, summer surveying, CREDIT! (You motherfuckers, INFINITE CREDIT!), summer
field session sitting top of repeat hill with a stadia board in a lightning
storm, the hangovers, “I’ll never drink again”, MAD DOG, Night Train, Tickled
Pink, TJ Swan, Golf, Applejack, Six pack parties, beer bongs, Dom or Malt Duck?,
Road Trips!, Meeker, Cowboy hats, free
beer at every school event, three legged beer races, the pyramid with the beer
chug, Quart Chugging, mucking, drilling, blasting, beer pong, stealing the
Beta’s kegs, NO FOAM!, Foss, The 40 foot Coors Can, The Pegasus, Joanne puking
on my feet, Anchor Steam, Black Label, Old Style, Henry’s, Bud or Coors Light,
last minute keg runs, buck up?, 1807 W. Campus Road, 303.279.9963, Easter Beers!,
Tap Chugs, beer pong, BBLB, breaking in your active mug, 3 man lifts, douching,
pink bellies, Buffalo Bill Stampedes, Greeley, chasing tornados, Smokin Joe
Weber, quant lab, somehow avoiding Dale Foreman for Dynamics, rocks for jocks,
protesting the protest, end of the world, Sean, pledge books, Come as your
favorite rock star, “The Low Spark of
High, Heeled Boys”, “Crew Slut”, “Saran Wrap”, “Dense packs for Boulder”, Hell
Week, the MacDonalds Song, getting kisses from stewardesses, barking arachnids,
soiled sheets, the Ent House and the Ent Moot, the ghetto, the tenement, 3.2,
6.0, scum, listening to the turkey
fucking story (wait, there’s two) and losing it, the great god of C, can’t
spell CREDIT without a C or a D, thermo, tequila, “It looks like it’s gonna be
no tuna for Tad”, the Morrison Inn, Boulder and Round the Corner, Electron, a
six pack outside your door, Mom’s Room, the Cook’s room, beer pong, “Who is that
guy?”, house histories, “Club a gay baby seal for Christ!”, the first beer pong
tournament win and the last beer pong tournament win and all the ones in
between, hashers, late night kitchen raids, the grease pit, erosion land, the
pig roast, head butts, polos, Vaurnets, The Jungle Party, the “come as your
favorite camp counselor party”, the superhero’s party, Captain Fucking
Obnoxious, the Chaplain, the start of a new semester, all the shit you said
you’d never do when you were a Freshman, the A Team, Elitches, Lanes Tavern,
Taco House and Green Chili, Shlotzkys, Vegas after Mark and Joannes, sitting at the Irish Pub after
weddings and the California Coolers morning with John Howe (and subsequent beer
pong tournament), and finally leaving.
The Draconian Dean and his administration are trying as hard
as they can to make all that a very distant memory. The Princeton Review makes it sound like they don’t even do the
M, I, N, E, S, what the hell do we care now? thing.
Somehow Greg slipped in one last glorious weekend for his 40th. Slipped in and administration approved as an
“Alumni Fund Raising Event.” It was glorious
and thanks to all those who made it happen (all you had to do was show
up.) Greg was depressed for a month
after, “Why can’t we do this every weekend?”
There’s a little piece of the old Mines that still goes on every other
year in Reno, Nevada. Better buy your
pool insurance early.
There once was a place called Duckburg, and that was a place far away, in a time long, long ago. Here’s to those who have gone before, and paved the way with good intentions.